It sucks not being close to certain people anymore. Its sad to say i used to be friends with you and we used to be close instead of we are friends and we are close. 

you’re really pushing it right now.

Worst thing to do is keep a girl waiting. At least for me it is.

These thoughts still won’t get out of my head.  You’ve told me so many times but they just won’t go away.  I think i’m just over thinking a lot of things and i just want something or someone to tell me that you’re legit, that you’re not just going to waste 2 years of my life and screw me over.  Only a few more weeks till this vacation and I hope we’re good after it’s over.  I love you and the thought of you with someone else just hurts.

This is really bullshit now.  God forbid you come here for more than a hour…like seriously whats the point?  Guarantee you never did this with any of your other girlfriends.  I let you get away with this shit and i shouldn’t.  You make no effort anymore, none whatsoever.  I really don’t know how much longer we’re going to last.  You’d rather be with your friends, talk to your friends more than me.  When i’m with you, you never take your eyes off your phone, but when it comes down to texting me it’s like you take an hour or more just to answer.  I’ve talked to you to many times about it and you haven’t done anything to change it.  I really don’t know what else I can do to make this better, i’ve tried…now it’s your turn.  And if something doesn’t change soon than i’m really going to be done.

i try…you dont.

I seriously need to go on a rant..you’re lucky i dont blow up on you at this point.  It just doesnt seem to click in your head..the last text you sent me saying that you were leaving soon within the next three hours after that you couldnt find the time to pick up your phone and send one text saying you werent home yet? and now after saying you left work..im sure it didnt take you two hours to get home but you cant text me and atleast just let me know you’re there.  Im sick of caring more than you.  I’m sick of feeling like this all the time.

I’m sorry for the way that I act sometimes..i started something pointless last night and I was a complete bitch.  youre so good to me and I shouldn’t treat you like that..i love you.

I’m just wondering..in the end will this all be worth it?  Will i be as happy as i think i’m going to be or will it all just come tumbling down because of something that I don’t know.  Am i overthinking everything and is that what’s causing me to have these thoughts?  I give my everything and yes, i may be a bitch at times and i may have my mood swings but before you say anything you have to understand where i’m coming from.  You have to understand how much i’ve put into all of this and how much trust i needed to put into you and into myself.  I knew it was wrong at the time..but i did it anyway to prove to everyone that not all of you are the same.  I’m hoping that i’m not being lied to and i’m just hoping that i’m good enough to be with in the end.  I know that i’m not skinny enough and i know that i’m not as pretty as most girls even though i try my hardest to be for you.  I don’t need this to go up in flames because i will be broken and i know that for a fact.  Nobody has really given me the reassurance i need to tell me that i made the right choice being where i am right now.  If i’m happy that’s all that should matter right?  But if i have these thoughts running through my head and nobody there to tell me everythings fine and everything works out in the end..can i really convince myself i’m happy?  Maybe i’m stressed out with everything that i have to figure out in my life and maybe i just need some space from people, but won’t that make me feel worse? I need that extra push and for someone to just say you’re fine the way you are and he really won’t hurt you..but so far i haven’t met anyone who can do that for me.